This phrase has been used very incoherently to its meaning by many of us who are in search of a mate. Many people have said it; he is not right for me, she is not right for me, followed by many reasons as to why the said person isn’t good for them. But an in depth look at the reasons and you will clearly see the spring of selfishness from which the reasons emanate.
Many of us are in a quest to satisfy ourselves and are willing to go to the extent of using someone else. I want to be made happy, I want them to… I, I, I… That has been the driving force for the commence of many relationships, not knowing that a good relationship means esteeming, valuing and putting the other person before themselves. You don’t get into a relationship for yourself, but for the other person. You are not there to be satisfied, but to satisfy, not to be built but to build or else that is not a relationship but a crutch you are after.
I once heard a lady friend tell another how she wanted a mate of some kind.
“He needs to know what I want, when I want it and how I want it. I don’t need to tell him or else he is not the right person for me”.
Others have shared how the right spouse will not need to be taught how to treat another or else they have would have failed the test before they begin. Maybe the intention is to teach but the criteria is wrong. If you want a well made person and not one to learn with, then you will never be satisfied by any person out there no matter how perfect they are.
I would like to say this. There is no person who can love you the way you want, the best lovers can only reach upto 70% at most and this is after being taught how to love. No one knows how to love another, we get into relationships to learn and not showcase. A virgin and an experienced individual are on the same boat when they get into a relationship. There is no one who is better than the other and the experience is null and void when in a relationship. So let no one make you feel less of a person when you claim to be a virgin.
For a relationship to work, certain principles need to be followed. This applies to every relationship and it doesn’t matter how spiritual you are. Like the law of gravity that operates on earth and puts everything under its dominion so are certain principles in a relationship that need to be obeyed. But before all that, one thing is true, if you enter into a relationship with a rigid ideology of how it must be ran and without an openness and flexibility to listen to the other party, you have began it with three strikes against you. Your past experiences do not make you an expert in anything, but either an arrogant fool or a humble student. Before you get into a relationship, make sure you are in a place where your past is not your marking scheme and your bitterness is not your safe gauge.